During excavations at the Regio V site in Pompeii, Italy, archaeologists have uncovered an ominous inscription in the wall of a tavern that has been preserved for over two thousand years. The meaning of the text, "TWBC", is currently being hotly contested and has the potential to change our understanding of Ancient Roman Life and the history of Western civilization in general. Leading scientists from around the world have once again assembled at the World Anthropology Congress to discuss.
"The text clearly means 'Tiny White Black Cock'", says Mahatma Singh, a senior researcher from the Tata Institute of Social Sciences of Mumbai, followed by erratic countermands from the crowd. "How can a penis be both white and black", another anthropologist asks. "You can only be one or the other." Singh replies that there are white penises with sporadic darker areas, or that the text could refer to the penis of a black man with vitiligo, followed by more confused questioning from the crowd.
Elisabeth Carson from the University of Pittsburgh Department of Anthropology offers another suggestion: "While 'Tiny White Black Cock', seems to be the most obvious answer, it is nonsensical. A white penis with black dots is still a white penis, just like a penis belonging to black man with vitiligo is a black penis. Obviously the meaning of the text is 'Tiny White Big Penis'. This could mean a penis that is short in length but very wide, or vise-versa a penis very long but also very thin." The American researcher's bold suggestion was followed by shouts and booing, however some of the present anthropologists also nodded and clapped.
Román Mantilla from the Complutense University of Madrid (UCM) is sceptical of those assumptions. "It is amazing how these so-called 'anthropologists' only question the meaning of the 'B', but not the meaning of the 'T'. If the T stood for Tiny, why would they have chosen the C, which stands for Cock, instead of a P which stands for Pecker and is the orthodox noun when referring to a penis of meager size, as used in 'TBP - Tiny Black Pecker' or the white counterpart. I believe that the T refers to an individual. Names beginning with T were very common in Ancient Rome, such as Titus, Tulio or Tertius. My best guess is that the inscription means "Tulio's White Big Cock".
Mr. Mantilla's suggestion was strongly-criticized by the next speaker, Phillip Weisser from the German Association of Social and Cultural Anthropology.
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