>>54163>especially when a girl asks if i have social media thats a dealbreaker for me.I wasn't talking to girls since I was a lonely autist, but I would get annoyed when kids in school and online chatrooms/game chats ask for my social media and I have to explain that I don't have any. I always got confused reactions and they didn't get it. My answer was the same every time, which is that I had no reason to and I don't believe social media was something I needed.
I guess to give you a better insight, my girlfriend uses tiktok and says she isn't addicted to it and doesn't use it that much. She uses it almost daily, scrolls it when she's bored, and is constantly reposting tiktoks about media she enjoys. Wouldn't you know it, she was and still is involved with fandom culture (proshipping and troon stuff) and she's questioned her sexuality in the past. It clearly had an effect on her, which she's improved since she became Christian, but it still consumes a lot of her time and sometimes I just feel like she's brainwashed.
Idk it just makes me sad to see her so engaged with such materialistic stuff and realizing this is the average person our age. I also remind myself that I'm not any better, because I constantly go back to the same 3 games I play when I'm bored instead of doing something practical like working out, reading the Bible, or really anything else. But the different is I feel bad for this at least. I hate myself for being like that and it constantly makes me feel guilty; I can't get over it. It fucks me up knowing most people don't feel this doe. Their whole perceived purpose is to continue indulging.
I think you're cool btw if that matters